This work emerges from the destruction left behind after I fled violence. The perpetrator did not limit his actions to physical assaults. After I escaped, he destroyed my home, vandalized walls with spray-painted obscenities, doused belongings with paint, burned clothing, and damaged or destroyed valuables, sentimental objects, and irreplaceable possessions.

The title references one of the obscenities spray-painted throughout the home: "UA HO!" The phrase remained on the walls as both a message and a reminder of the rage, entitlement, and contempt that often accompany coercive control and "domestic" violence.

Rather than depicting the destruction literally, this painting examines its emotional residue. The orange "Marking" spray paint on graphite evoke warning, danger, and aftermath. What remains is not simply property damage, but evidence of an attempt to dominate, intimidate, and erase autonomy.

Destruction of property is often minimized as damage to things. In the context of coercive control, it is frequently a message directed at a person. The goal is not merely to break objects, but to instill fear, demonstrate power, and communicate what may happen next.

“Jealousy becomes a problem when the person feeling jealous becomes possessive or controlling, or imposes double standards on his or her partner,”

Bostick says. “For example, the jealous person might say the partner can’t hang out with members of the opposite sex on their own. If both partners agree to that, that may be healthy. But if it’s one partner telling the other not to do that but he or she still can, that’s a red flag.”

Other red flags for identifying an unhealthy type of jealous behavior include:

Getting too serious too quickly. If a partner wants to be exclusive immediately, ask yourself why. “It may offer feelings of security, but wanting to be exclusive immediately can be a red flag,” Bostick says. Consider why an emotionally secure adult would need to rush into being exclusive when you barely know one another.

Monitoring your communications. Following you on Instagram is one thing, but “anytime someone wants your password or to check your phone, that’s invasive,” Bostick says. “The first time it comes up, you need to set a strong boundary. Or run.”

Repetition. Abuse is recurrent. If bouts of jealousy followed by apologies and promises of a better future become a pattern, it may signal that control and abuse is to come.

"Slut-shaming has nothing to do with what a woman does with her body.

Because women are slut-shamed for sexually engaging with AND for sexually rejecting men. We are called sluts for sending nudes AND for refusing to send nudes; for flirting AND for not flirting with men; for smiling AND for not smiling at men; for accepting AND refusing unsolicited dick pics from men. Do you see the pattern? Women are slut-shamed for saying yes AND for saying no because women are slut shamed for having a say i.e. for expressing consent (or lack thereof). Slut-shaming has nothing to do with what a woman does with her body; it is a tactic used to disconnect women from their voices."

-Farida D.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION about coercive control and predictors leading to homicide.