"Sometimes I listen to a survivor client's narrative and it's so clear to me that I'm not just

hearing a story about surviving a toxic relationship - I'm hearing a story about surviving

crimes such as harassment, fraud, physical assault, sexual assault, and

psychological terrorism. They are surviving crimes that would be acknowledged and

validated as crimes by their peers and by the courts had the perpetrator been a stranger.

But because the perpetrator is someone the survivor loved, the crimes committed are

minimized. dismissed, and invalidated by peers and by the courts. Whoever decided that "all's fair in love and war" didn't anticipate how much damage would follow. Or maybe they did - maybe they were just covering their own perpetrating ass."

It is not a relationship. It is a premeditated crime. It is terrorism in the home. An abusive individual has gained access to ones life under false pretenses, manipulation, and coercion.

Violence in the home is a subset of coercive control including sexual abuse.

Edgar Schein (1961) Coercive Persuasion: To produce ideological and behavioral changes in a fully conscious, mentally intact individual.

“Domestic violence—and violence against women—does touch so many of us. It’s not a private matter. It is protected by silence. Each of us must examine and change the ways in which our own behavior might contribute to, enable, ignore, or excuse all such forms of violence.” —Sir Patrick Stewart

The Ten Hidden Dangers of the Family Courts for Victims of Coercive Control

Studies led by Todd K. Shackelford found that some red flag behaviors could be a harbinger of danger and signal a possibility of future violence:

✓ Vigilance over the partner's whereabouts

✓ Emotional manipulation

✓ Dropping by unexpectedly to check upon the partner

✓ Calling to make sure the partner is where they said they would be

✓ Monopolization of the partner's time

✓ Threatening retaliation for infidelity

Know the 🚩🚩🚩

I'M FREE TO BE